Man, when I moved to the city, I was all about the blog. What happened there? I used to write poetry and take photos every chance I could and talk to strangers in the park. To be fair, I had an awesome conversation last summer with an older biking gentleman about Franz Kafka.
I feel like my creativity has been stifled. And it’s entirely my fault. Well, maybe not my fault, it’s been organic and chronic, but I have to break out of it.
And here’s why.
I’ve got some strange obsessions in life. Tapping on the ceiling of my car while driving through yellow lights, always finding the coldest spot on the pillow, wearing out my books as much as possible so they look old and worn in (Jimmy hates this.) But one obsession that’s never failed me is theatre. God I love theatre. I love acting, doing tech work, applying makeup, smelling like sweat during intermission, and I miss it more than anything.
I also have an odd obsession with British culture. I went to London in 2000, when I was a wee 12 year old, and I desperately wish I’d been more self-aware and well read, because i would have been far more excited about the culture besides “hur hur, they sound funny.” Now, I find that I enjoy British television and comedy far more than American comedy, and, not surprisingly, I find the theatrics of British comedy magical.
How do these two collide? OH HOW THEY COLLIDE.
…possibly too excited there.
I, to the shock of most of you, am actively applying to an internship at Channel 4 in London. Channel 4 puts out one of my new favorite TV shows, Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy, which is a delightfully ridiculous show that I could have the chance to work on. The internship is paid and would literally be my dream.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Kate: the most anxious (nearly)25 year old girl in the city. I’m sure this is me being too dramatic, but it sure feels like it sometimes.
So here’s my proposal to myself (and to whoever decides to read along.)
This internship would take place in September, around the time I would be student teaching (oh yes, I’m going to graduate school for education. It’s amazing and I love it with all my heart.) BUT, DePaul has a fabulous program in which you can student teach up to THREE YEARS after you take your last class before student teaching. So, if this were to be something I could obtain, I would be able to do this internship and be back to student teach with some money in hand.
How can I lose?! Oh right, the anxiety.
I’m planning to document all my fears and anxieties on here, so I may also document my progress. I’m working harder than I ever have to rid myself of these senseless fears and panic attacks, and I know I can do it. Even if I don’t get this internship, I’m going to apply for more. It’s my dream to work in London, and I will get there someday. I will be a teacher too, an amazing one, but I can’t ignore the dreams I have, right?
:cue lovely film score in which the protagonist becomes motivated, and a montage follows:
So join me, my beauties, as I embark on a non-pretentious and completely normal expedition to get through old shit that needs to die.