the princess who eats flower petals

Tonight, my mom and I watched some old home movies and came across a lovely one of me at 3, sitting up in the middle of the night after one of my breathing treatments. I used to have chronic bronchial spasms, AKA bad asthma. Back in the old days (1991), there weren’t really pocket inhalers, so I had a nebulizer at my house and would often have to sit up and breathe through a mask until my body was calm again.
Physical anxiety at an early age, yo.
Anyway, in this specific video, I was exhausted but being my awesome 3 year old self, telling my parents stories about how I don’t like anyone and if I did, I like girls, not boys. (This was not me coming out, but if I were a lesbian, this would be the BEST video.)
I also told a story of myself as a princess at age 24 (PERFECT!), and how as a princess, I would frolic through the woods, collect flowers, and eat them with my friends.

How awesome is my three year old view of myself now? It’s the exact opposite of how I think when I’m stressed. When I was three, I didn’t really stress, because I was, well, three. So why does this stress increase on a never-ending upper slope with age?

In honor of my sleepy three year old self, wearing a Tiny Toons nightgown and eating sprinkle cookies, here is a list of things that make me feel happy, wonderful, and light.

.Napping with the window open
.Finding shoes that fit perfectly
.Fresh, warm laundry
.Putting said fresh, warm laundry in a pile around my body
.Irish accents on old men
.The smell of bait and fish
.Kleenex that separate into two different, thinner Kleenex
.The way alcohol looks on film and TV
.Waking up, believing I have to be up in 10 minutes, then looking at my clock and seeing I still have three hours to sleep.
.Reheated deep dish pizza in which the cheese on the sides is burning hot and the cheese in the middle is still super cold
.Creative use of swear words
.All dogs, ever.
.Quoting The Simpsons with my fiance and stumping him
.Hearing a Queen song on the radio
.Jokes that are grossly inappropriate but are still very funny
.My grandparents interacting with each other at any given time
.The sound my fiance makes when he’s snoring and turning over. It’s like “UHHH EEEE”
.Going to the movies alone
.Any sort of shopping outing with my friend Emily
.Impromptu deep late night conversations with friends while watching comedies
.That first warm spring day after a Chicago winter
.That first snow after a Chicago fall
.Obnoxiously neon eyeshadow and socks
.People who look like their pets
.Taking my bra off after a particularly long and stressful day
.Conservatives and religious folk who are in favor of equal rights
.My stuffed bunnies, Old Bunny and New Bunny, who I’ve slept with virtually every night since I was 6 months old (they’re totally in my lap right now)
.The face my (real) bunny makes when he yawns
.Stand up comedy
.Men’s blazers that fit me pretty well
.The smell of Chicago by the lake
.Empty playgrounds
.Waterparks
.Surprise hugs by people I love
.Sleeping at my mom’s house and hearing train horns, even though they’re miles away
.Eating leftovers in bed at 1AM before going to sleep
.A nice, fresh, ice cold glass of milk
.Fun shaped noodles
.People who can make fun of themselves well
.The smell of books, especially old books that have been sitting in an attic
.Not-creepy compliments from strangers
.Knowing my city neighborhood and my old suburban neighborhood inside and out
.VHS tapes
.Dreams that take place in my grandparents’ old house
.Memories and mint tea as a couple
.Famous people I’ve met who are actually very kind and good.
.Concerts
.Convincing myself that, yes, I am singing on key and sound lovely.
.Cherry flavored candy
.Ice cream in the summer (winter, spring, fall…)
.Stretching in bed and cracking my back
.Piles of whipped cream and caramel on the tops of my coffee drinks
.Yoga and the thoughts I have during yoga
.My mom’s laugh
.YouTube videos of animals interacting with odd objects and/or people
.Fog in the morning
.Squishy chocolate chips in fresh muffins
.Finding just the right position for sleeping
.Waking up spooning or being spooned by my fiance
.My Channel 4 video application and the hope it brings
.Dogs who fart then look at their butts like something magical just came out
.Video games that pull me in to the point I don’t want to finish the story
.Donuts and Walmart with Tyler
.British comedy and being slightly proud of the fact I’ve loved British comedy since I was 8 years old
.Education
.Finding home movies of my oldest friend Allysha when we were five years old and realizing we have not changed in any fashion.
.Dying my hair fun colors
.Expanding my vocabulary
.Things narrated by David Attenborough or Stephen Fry
.Theatre. All theatre.
.Compiling lists of things that make me happy

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