On a touchscreen.

I’m working from home tomorrow, as I fell down our back concrete steps and sprained my ankle and hurt my back. My foot and ankle are turning purple. I thought it best to keep my walking to a minimum for another day. 

I am not an angry person. I am mostly optimistic, with flurries of melancholy making their way in every once in a while. Anxiety, of course, is present most days, but it’s been very mild as of late.

but I am not an angry person.

I yell at traffic, swear when I stub my toe, and roll my eyes at politicians. That’s about it.

When I do get angry, it’s for a damn good reason. Usually, it’s because someone I love is hurt.

Please don’t hurt the ones I love. I will not be your ally. I will not help you.

My true loves are small in number. My family is tiny, and my best friends can’t fill a stadium. I only want them to be happy and free of toxic people.

I lost one of the most important loves of my life four months ago. I can feel myself clawing at my memories everyday, trying to keep her in the forefront of my mind. Lately, those memories have settled comfortably and stopped digging their nails into me. “It’s okay,” they say, “you have her blood in your veins. She’s not going anywhere.”

My Grammy died a truly noble death, just as she lived. She wasn’t filled with regret, anger, or bitterness. The dementia took away any badness and left her with only peace in her last breaths.

I wish everyone was like this. No bitterness. No greed. But, we are human, and reality out-shadows virtue.

I don’t mean to be vague. My point is simple: I love my family and friends more than anything. And that will never change. 

I think Grammy would appreciate that I fell while gardening. I’m the most awkward. ❤

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