7 months

I wrote my last blog post two days before my 28th birthday. It is now less than a month until Christmas. I’m sitting in my bed at 3am alone, recovering from a mild chest cold and unable to sleep.
A few things haven’t changed. I still can’t listen to Blackstar from start to finish without crying or feeling completely despondent. I still stay up later than I ever should. I’m still a music photographer.

Some things are new.
We elected a fascist president.
Prince died.
My husband and I moved to a new neighborhood. (Just three months after we moved here, a young man was murdered outside our apartment building. I’ll write more about this later.)
Our bunny died. He was only six years old. I miss him everyday.
The Cubs won the freaking World Series and Chicago had a moment of pure happiness. I will never forget that feeling.
Fidel Castro died tonight. He was 90.
Leonard Cohen died. We lost so many good fucking people this year. I covered Amanda Palmer when she was here a few weeks ago, and she invited people to bring up offerings to remember Cohen while she played “One of us Cannot be Wrong”.

We got a cat. Her name is Margo, she’s 11, and she rules our lives now. I can’t really put into words how much I love her.

My best friend  had a baby. A healthy boy. I don’t like kids, and I especially don’t like babies, but I am already bonded to this child. He is my honorary nephew, and I’ve never felt more protective of my best friend and her future. I will always be there for both of them.

I’ve had some utterly wonderful and happy moments over the last 7 months, but I went through a period of what I can only describe as exhaustion. I was shooting shows constantly, writing reviews, working my 40-hour job, and battling intense anxiety (which I know I’ll always have). I cried almost everyday. I slept as much as I could but never felt rested. I had stomachaches and headaches regularly.

I decided to take a leave of absence from work to focus on my mental health. This is the first time in a very long time that I’ve purposefully not been working. It feels foreign and a combination of welcoming and uncomfortable. I’m getting there. It’s been 4 weeks.

I have to much to write about, so many things to get down. And I will. I haven’t gone this long without blogging in years, and I need to write. I need to write all the time. It keeps me grounded and calm.

Remember that, Kate.

Your writing keeps your grounded.


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